After Care - Yourself

Helping Yourself Heal

  • Allow yourself plenty of time to heal. It takes much longer than we want to realize, months, not days, and yes, years in many instances.
  • Acknowledge your losses. They are important.
  • Cry if you need to cry. Sometimes arranging a special time and place eases our embarassment about crying in public. Not all of us cry alike...some tears come as sobs, some as sighs, some are silent.
  • Set small goals. Over and over again, set small goals. Baby steps become achievements and accomplishments.
  • Exercise helps us sleep better.
  • Find your sense of humor. Hang on tight!
  • Keeping a diary or journal gives us a place to jot down thoughts and memories. Sometimes it may only be a reminder to do a task. Sometimes it's what one is afraid to voice aloud.
  • Eating nutritiously is helpful, even though we may not have time or energy to cook. Just try to increase fruits and vegetables, pastas, rice, breads and other carbohydrates. Lower fats, gravies, sauces and desserts.
  • Decrease alcohol and drug consumption. Drugs and alcohol mask the pain for awhile but cannot remove the pain from us.
  • Accept and give out hugs.
  • Have a physical checkup with a trusted physician. Review prescribed medications with a physician familiar with the grief process. Not all doctors truly understand the process of how to treat grief effectively.
  • Water is necessary for our stressed bodies. Substitute water and/or fruit juice for caffeinated drinks. Decreasing the use of carbonated beverages eases digestion.
  • Postpone major decisions such as selling your home, changing jobs, divorcing your spouse. Get some qualified guidance on major decision making.
  • Consider participating in a support group. Family and friends may not understand the need to retell our story over and over.
  • Tell others what you want from them; help, emotional support, time shared, etc.
  • Seek spiritual guidance. Having a crisis in faith is not unusual in grief.
  • Check out advice. Accepting the imperfections of others means realizing we have imperfections too. We all give and get bad advice at times.
  • Expand your vocabulary of feeling words. Reach past the usual ones; bad, sad, glad and mad.
  • Use music, art, philosophy, religion, gardening, games, nature walks, reading, writing and volunteer work to gain comfort, relief and understanding.
  • Realize suicidal thoughts are an intense reaction to the pain of bereavement. Reach out for help immediately.
  • Make plans for the tough times like weekends, holidays, evenings, anniversaries, birthdays, and other special occasions.
  • Planning a ritual can help us release emotion around specific loss and gain a sense of closure. Rituals may be simple or elaborate, individual or group-oriented, personal or public.
  • Recognize your impatience for what it is - a desire to be better. Just as it takes time for bread to bake, we must allow ourselves time to rise, be punched down and rise again. Otherwise the product is hard and tasteless, never having developed fully.

About Dusckas

The founder of the Dusckas Funeral Home, Inc., Constantine "Gus" Dusckas, was born in Titusville, Pennsylvania, on July 22, 1915, the son of Greek immigrants. It has been noted that the Dusckas family had a close relationship with the Drake family of oil well fame. Because of the family's deep religious beliefs, young Gus got involved with many families who were in need and less fortunate.  read more...

Get in Touch

  • Phone:
    (814) 899 7656
  • Email:
    Email
  • Main Address:
    Nancy E. Dusckas: Supervisor
    2607 Buffalo Rd.
    Erie, PA 16510
  • West Side:
    Gary J. Cumming: Supervisor
    536 West 10th Street
    Erie, PA 16502